FFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTBBBBAAAAAALLLLLLLL

WEAK 1

definitively the trend, weak as all hell!

first we'll talk about the games i watched, because if i didn't watch it i can't 100% accurately judge the fucks i watched. (as i will everyweek!)

bengals. the fucking bengals! more like the fucking bungles.
you get all this hype and then tom brady buys you one drink, spikes it and then proceeds to rape your asshole. TO and eightfive, you suck. period. and eightfive you suck more because you promised if you got a TD you would shoot a patriots rifle. you didn't deliver that, much like you did shit to deliver the game.
the patriots played a spectacular first half, kinda fell in the 2nd but that first half sealed it.

now on to my game. the packers eagles game.
kolb you fucking suck. there is nothing else i can say on it. i think you threw for 3 yards the entire time you were in the game. that's a disgrace to football as a whole. hell huard for the chiefs was a better fucking quarterback than you. i am so glad the eagles franchise told mcnabb to go fuck himself because you were like the most amazing qb they had ever seen and thought hmmmmmm this guy will definately pwn. i would further like to inquire about what the fuck they were smoking so i can immediately buy some and overdose. vick played an outstanding game. i like vick but he was playing my bread and butter so for the sake of this review, fuck vick.
the pack won yes, did they play good, not so much. they weren't solid, yet it was a good game for them. despite grant being out, their run game exploded! like where the fuck did that come from?? rodgers had a few good passes and i only blame 1 int on him. that connection with jennings for the td was awesome. and my D, way to stop vick on that last play in the 4th!! shit was intense! 1 and 0 baby!!

now on to that disgraceful game between the jets and ravens.... where the FUCK was the offense?????? i could have taken a shit and produced a better pass than either of those 2 fucks made, it wasn't the defense in the least that won this game, it was whose shit offense/special teams could score first. although there was some awesome defensive plays.. flacco got absolutely raped and ray lewis grabbed a knife and committed another murder on rex ryans ass

on lighter notes....
the giants need to play a real fucking team to show they have any skill whatsoever... seriously, a high school team could have beaten the panthers..
indy, you had it coming. the texans are finally showing that they are a contender
brett favre, fuck you.
the lions got robbed, plain and simple. oh and fuck the lions too!

peace bitches

vote for the iron sheik

-dan

saddest day of my life

some asshole crashed into magic grill and now they might close shop... lets find this fucker
-dan

RODGERSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
BRETT WHO?! BRETT WHO?!
john brunacki watch out, im comin for you tomorrow
-dan

wawa lemonade ice tea

so i havent watched much preseason, but from what i have watched, rodgers seems to be fitting in nicely.

i havent watched a lick of the jets sticking to my guns about that one

thursday is the start of it all, and unfortunately it is a game containing the giants. grunt. i will be watching it with dani k and i hope the redskins win!
-dan

get the lynch mob a-ready

its official, brett favre, who probably has pulled one of the most dick moves in green bay history, is a jet. he is no longer a packer (thank you capt. obvious) which in my mind means that he is retired, cause a non-packer brett favre is not a real person. his jets jersey looks terrible too, as most jets jerseys do. at least for his sake he wont be murdered by the green bay fans if he had to play there this year as a buc.
hes an asshole, sure, but i will think of him as retired, and i will always remember him like this:

-dan
post script, i didnt know that the jets were moving to new jersey? i thought they were always here

WHAT THE F*CK

brett favre, why?
i have only to ask one other question
what the fuck is wrong with you? the swamp air get in your lungs and you said to deanna "shit baby, member that team that gave me a home for the past 17 fucking years? well fuck them, im gunna have good ol' Bus publicly announce that green bay hates me and wants me dead! it will be good, cause then i can play more football! (somehow that works, idk its the swamp gas again) i know in march that it was a little early baby, but we hadnt had sex in so long and those viagra pills really did wonders, i just didnt know it was a 2 time occurrence! if u had told me that, i would have never retired! shit, i wouldnt have told ted or mike to go fuck themselves wen they sed, 'you can come back and be starter, well keep it warm for you, but only til like june and then aaron is our man' but now, ill just be like, yo, they never sed that wen nfl.com interviews me, better yet, ill let em know that i was pressured into retiring! i hate the pressure, especially from the d-backs, goddam! oh my, used the name of the lord our god in vein! shit, thats better, anyway, where was i at? oh yeah, so im gunna be like yeah they pressured me, all those phone calls askin about if im comin back, sayin, do what u want, but we love you and you shuld come back, all those calls and sayin do what i want? hell, that is some fucked up shit babydoll! you can tell that they hate me, dont ya? cant ya? well im gunna go throw on nfl network and see what they are sayin bout me"
that was an actual conversation between them, no shittin, no, im shittin
just shut up brett, use your head, and retract the statements, and then STAY RETIRED, i love ya, but goddam, just hang it up, i know we wont see the superbowl for another 20 years, but shit comon, just retire in peace and take brian gumble's place announcing or something
-dan