EASTER

well the day is all up ons
so i will now spin the tale of why easter is the way it is

first off, easter bunnies, where the helllll did they come from? well it all started in Golgotha, on that faintful hill where jesus was nailed up, ya see, that hill was infested with rabbits, yes thats right, where the hell do you think they planted in the cross? they didnt have shovels in that day and the roman empire was going through a slave drought, too much killin of them is what was happenin, so rabbit holes seemed to fit the bill rather well. so to commemorate those brave saint rabbits who gave their lives for jesus, we eat them, in chocolate form

now why chocolate, well the brown of chocolate is the same colour as the wood used in the making of the cross, i believe they used a palm, no northern pine or oak for them, just straight ass up palm

then we move on to ham, thats to stick it to the jews and be like, 'fuck you im gunna eat pork, num num num'. it also is sometimes associated with the roman guards that arrested the big man, see he was just rollin down in south central and they was all throwin looks and breakin their necks bc jesus was listenin to fuck tha police by NWA, plus judas called em sayin he was all makin meth in his closet, which was later proven false by archaeologists.

and lastly eggs, thats easy, jesus and the coronal from KFC are homies in heaven so jesus was all like 'yo sanders, lets have an egg fight.' so they did but then judas came in and started tossin hard boiled eggs and jesus was zappin them with his magical wizard skills, but since he didnt eat breakfast yet, it wasnt at full strength so he only pushed them away and turned em colours, a few happened to fall to ERF and humans discovered them and were like, 'hmm its a sign from above'

im not an expert on the subject, but im pretty sure thats how it went
-dan

brett favre

R.I.P.
retire in peace

i dont even know what to say...



truly a day that will live in infamy

-dan